Last night's monkies meeting fizzled. No one but Elliot ended up coming, and we wouldn't of had any boxes to paint in anycase. (you know, the boxes for our box car alt spaces idea)

Instead, Elliot and I just talked and brainstormed and mused about theatre. It was slightly depressing because we realised that this group is either stuck or has bad momentum.

I'm quite the cautious pessimiste, I know, but I can't help but feel that we might be dead in the water. We may be just like Side Street who, as Elliot told me, looks likely to fold. Rohan's not into it anymore, and everyone who has been involved have decided to move on to other things.

Amongst our musings I was fascinated at how Elliot is such a long term planner. Like me, he loves his diary, setting dates, and writing things down. Yet unlike me, he thinks a few moves ahead.

My planning is born of pessism. I think that as the world may be ending tomorrow, planning is the best way to squeeze in as many last experiences as possible. I am constantly surprised and thankfull when simple little things actually work out.

An Elliot plan, in comparison, assumes that there is a good chance of the initial steps working, and that there is a future to plan for. Like planing for starting a company, and getting grants, and buying a venue.

As long as I can remember i've only ever thought one step ahead. I'd think about the next drama class, next years school musical, my next english assignment. You see, I am ambitious, but only for the current project. That's why I can still work hard on things, and why i'm a recovering perfectionist. Career ambition, life ambition, is a whole other kettle of fish. It's long term ambition.