I like it when I find things I can't remember writing. I'm cleaning up my harddrive (because i'm going to do a new OS install in a few weeks), and I just found this. I don't remember writing it, and it's very strange. It seems to feature a few people I know.

Lenny: Ready for lesson!?

Jenko: Eh, sorry?

Lenny: Driving lesson! I�m parked outside! You ready or not!? You know, broom broom, honk honk! Arghh shit! Great big truck, watch out! Oh crap! Old lady, get off the road! You know? Yes?

Jenko: (to audience) I did know, and I was ready, but I just stood there like a refrigerated monkey. My guts were screaming at me to hide underneath the house until he went � but � I didn�t�and that was my mistake.

Now that I think about, I suppose it all began just after I found myself buying this fluffy pen, (holds up pen) and this genuinely hand crafted gord, (holds up gord) from a primary school fate I had accidentally drifted into on my way back from the milk bar.

(a very serious freaky stranger grabs his arm)

Ren: Sultana? (offering a sultana from a small tupperware container full of sultanas)

Jenko: No thankyou. I�m fine.

Ren: Go on, I don�t mind.

Jenko: I�m ok.

Ren: Have one.

Jenko: No.

Ren: Yes.

Jenko: No

Ren: Why not?

Jenko: I just don�t �

Ren: Oh I see! Ooooooooh! He can�t manage a sultana! Not a sultana! Other dried fruit, well that�s another story, but a sultana! Nooooooooooo! Heaven forbid!

Jenko: What?! I don�t feel like a bloody sultana. Why should I �

Ren: Ahhhhh! I don�t believe it! He�s unbelievable! What a loony! What a freak! He won�t even have a sultana! Well this is just incredible! Incredible!

Jenko: Shhhh. Just shut up. Alright. (goes to take a sultana)

(suddenly sultana lady grabs his hand and stares at him intensely. She starts convulsing wildly and emits a gurgling noise, then falls on the floor)

Jenko: (to audience) someone called an ambulance, and I felt obligated to wait with the freaky stranger until it arrived. But then it got weirder�

Ren: Oi!

Jenko: What?

Ren: Here (she pushes a piece of paper into his hand, then falls into a coma)

Jenko: It was all scrunched up, and the ink was running from her sweaty hand, but it was definitely a raffle ticket of some sort. Number 36.

Lenny: Ok, ok ok ok! Now we draw the raffle! Ok! Fifth prize is this homemade jam! Ooooh yummy! Ok, and its number 51! Oh, yes! You�re so lucky! Ok! Fourth prize, more homemade jam! Number 62! Oh wow! You�re so lucky! Ok! Third prize is really good!

(he pauses and looks straight at Jenko for way too long)

Lenny: Free driving lesson for that special person! Top quality! And the winner is�(very long pause) number 36! Oh yes! That�s a good one, I teach you myself! Well done! You�re a winner!�.ok, second prize, home made jam�

Very strange.

If you're looking for an update on today, I'm sorry to say I can't be bothered writing one.