I've been meaning to read Richard Dawkins' new book: The God Delusion. I'm a big Dawkins fan. I know Lee has read it (or is reading it), but recreational reading tends to go out the window for me when uni is in full swing.

But, in the interim I went and bought this audio book (actually, it is more of a recorded monologue); Dawkins mentioned it briefly in a youtube video i watched. It's written and performed by Julia Sweeney:

Julia Sweeney::Letting Go of God

I bought it on iTunes, and listened to it in one go. It made quite an impression. It is very funny, very poignant, and very intelligent. Sweeney uses autobiography as well as Dawkins uses rhetoric

Posted by Mark at 07:08 PM | Permalink
Tags:

I'm not sure how I feel about Australia Day.

I like that Australia has strict gun laws. I like the Westminster system, and compulsory voting. I like Medicare. And I guess I like electricity, and water, and internet, and education, and food.

Some of those could be attributed to good governance, others to historical good fortune.

But the 6pm news last night seemed to suggest that there is something intrinsically virtuous about being Australian.

Me thinks that there is something about the evolutionary psychology of in-groups and out-groups at work here.

Being a Star Trek fan, I'm looking forward to an Earth Government, in which I'm sure there'll still be a place for Vegemite and public holidays.

Posted by Mark at 10:14 AM | Permalink
Tags: australia patriotism

SingShot.com is for online karaoke

I recommend it as the ultimate way to proove to someone that they can't sing.

It's also a great way to lose your blog readers. Here, listen to me trying to sing the song from The Breakfast Club....i'm so sorry

Posted by Mark at 12:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Tags: karaoke

I was talking with a chap that I did Media and Drama with back in my arts degree days. For the purposes of this blog, lets call him...i don't know...Stephen Jenkins.

We have a common experience. Whenever we see a making of documentary of a movie we like we both cringe, thinking "aww, I used to make movies".

A particular French playwrite, and thief, called Jean Genet said this about films: it won't be a true art form until people can make films in their hotel rooms, until making a film costs as much as a pencil. (Actually, i don't know if that is exactly what he said, and I've got a feeling it actually might have been Jean Paul Satre...but what the hell, they're all the same those Frenchies.)

But you know what? That time has so come. Just look at youtube and podcasting.

If I had my time over again, and I wasn't into psych, and I had some talent here is how I would have done things:

1) I would have enrolled in the same course at deakin, but only done it part time. Perhaps just 1 unit a semester. The main purpose of a drama/media course should have been to meet people and borrow equiptment.

2) I would have spent the rest of my time making little low budget things, and put them on youtube or started a website. I would put most of my energy into those projects. I would have recruited other people, but would have been very selective, and I would have been a dictator.

3) I would have been ruthlessly popularist. It would have been story driven, and actor driven. I would have lived and died by the download statistics. The quality control test would be: "would I forward someone a link to this, if i weren't me". I would have teared up any work that wasn't up to scratch.

4) No film festivals. No marketing hype. It would have relied completely on viral distribution.

Posted by Mark at 03:46 PM | Permalink
Tags: art drama filmmaking media youtube

Posting youtube videos isn't blogging. Copying and pasting in news stories isn't blogging either, unless one has some witty spin on it.

So clearly, by these criteria, I am guilty of blog neglect.

How about I promise you this. When Australian Idol is finished, and hence (I assume) so is the Idol Sparks podcast, i'll do a month long blogathon. A well written post a day, for a month. Hopefully, I can even develop an interesting opinion on something. Definetly. If I have the time. Definetly....well....maybe.

But for now, a quick account of the past few weeks. In the interest of having a semi-complete record of my life:

Today I went to an APS info day, and collected all my uni show bags. I now have a vague idea of what unis offer what 4th year programs. It was a longish day.

It looks like i'll apply to as many victorian universities as possible. I figure I should keep my options open. But, i'm pretty certain that the only real option is to stay at Deakin. Melb or Monash are an outside chance if I didn't get a Deakin offer, but then, if I didn't get a Deakin offer, i probably wouldn't get a Melb or Monash offer either.

It has been smooth sailing this semester. Perhaps too smooth. I'm worried that the disaster that was my Personality assignment will pull down my average too much, and I won't be able to lift it with this semesters units. Generally psych hons cut off is around 75%. If only they counted 1st and 2nd year units as well, i'd be safe.

It's just all going too fast. Time is a hypo kid on red cordial.

Today's info session has put me into a weird mood.

In other news, my CT results show one very normal cervical spine. So my medical mystery continues. I'm taking bets on the following remaining candidates: carpul tunnel, some kind of amazingly specific and symetrical stroke (1000000000:1), something vascular, or conversion disorder (as a psych major, this last one in my favourite, although, seems unlikely). Anywho, got a few doctors appointments lined up. It'll be fixed in no time. Just annoying. Not painful. I was anxious about it when I thought it was my spine, but, i'm sleeping pretty well now.

It was fun seeing my spine in cross-sections too.

Up to level 23 on World of Warcraft. I'm only playing very very casually. Having fun though.

Watching a lot of the first season of The West Wing on DVD.

Yep. That's all.

Posted by Mark at 11:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Tags:

Something really quite weird is going on with my body today. I have the strangest sensation.

I'm going to get a doctors appointment today. But don't worry readers, it certainly doesn't seem life threatening. I don't even feel bad in the usual sense. It's just mighty perplexing,.

I expect to be resuming my normal life shortly.

SUPPLEMENTAL: Arghhhh i'm fine now. GP says just to keep an eye on it over the next few days....she'll be apples.

Posted by Mark at 10:28 AM | Permalink
Tags:

1. Astronomy
2. Some kind of engineering with NASA (Mars rovers and the like)
3. Infectiology
4. Linguist/Translator
5. Starfleet Officer

Posted by Mark at 07:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: career lists

I'm begining a new experiment.

At regular intervals through the day, I give my current mood a rating out of 10. The scores across each day are averaged, and then I graph them. Here are the results for the past few days.

Some initial qualifications:

- averaging for each day probably hides a lot of the variability. I'm rarely sad or elated for the whole day. However, since I sometimes miss the scheduled data entry time, or enter it in late, i felt that an average might be better.

- The rating is an evaluation of the pleasentness of my mood. Now, some of you might well point out that mood doesn't vary along a single dimension. Feeling fatigued is pleasent late at night before you go to bed, and feeling alert is pleasent in the middle of the day. I'm not dealing with these issues. I'm collapsing everything down into one subjective rating

- The face validity of the question I ask myself - "how are you feeling?" - may be way too high. I may distort my rating and try and aim for a certain score. Also, the act of observation may affect my mood. But, that's fine with me.

I'll keep you posted

Posted by Mark at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Tags: mood psychology psychometrics

Off to an exam in a moment. I've packed my 2b pencil.

I have this personal theory that exams are actually not the performative part of the semester.

It is really the preperation that is the performative aspect, because that is where your grade is really determined. So I figure, to stuff up an exam, I really have to have been stuffing up consistently for the past 13 weeks. And if that is the case, then it is too late for me to do anything about it an hour out from the exam. As long as I stay calm and concious in the exam, then the preperation does the rest.

So that is how my delusional little mind operates for things like this.

Posted by Mark at 01:46 PM | Permalink
Tags: exams productivity study

OMG! Talk about a blast from the past.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and they were talking about The Internet Archive. The Internet Archive has been keep copies of virtually everything that has ever been on the internet, in order to save what might otherwise be lost.

So I did a search for my old website from my teen years. And I found it! As I recall, I made it in yr 8 or 9 (was the internet around then?). I learnt HTML and hand coded a page, which I put on the Apple User's Society of Melbourne server.

Here's the link:

The Mark Brown page with heaps of Star Trek stuff and movie reviews

It is a jumble of my geeky/teeny hobbies. There's some bad Star Trek fan fiction. A Courtney Cox tribute page. And some of my old MIDI files (remember MIDI, they were the days).

I've got to make sure I archive all of these little things better. I've been a digital person for quite some time, and so I don't really have many physical memory objects. There is, however, a hell of a lot of data...the question is how can I future proof it all.

I encourage you to look yourself up at The Internet Archive

Posted by Mark at 01:47 PM | Permalink
Tags: internet_archive memories nostalgia

Have you heard that saying about 'taking your butterflies and making them fly in formation?' You know, it's a metaphor for dealing with and using anxiety before a big performance/date/wedding etc. Simon used to say it all the time before performances at Rusden.

There is one particular theory that suggests that all emotions (fear, anger, love, excitement) all involve the same physical arousal. The arousal turns into a specific emotion when you label it, according to what you think may have caused it. If you're being chased by a sabertooth tiger, you label it fear. If you're being chased by a pretty girl, you label it differently.

So, it's a theory of butterflies...in a way...

Posted by Mark at 09:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Tags: butterflies emotional_lability psychology

This week I've been reading about introversion and extroversion. I'm always fascinated by this, as I, dear reader, am a proud introvert.

In looking for an image for this post, I came across a wonderful article. If you are an introvert, then you'll want to read it; it's our manifesto. If you're an extrovert, then I beg you, please read it to gain a better understanding of me and my kind.

Caring for your introvert

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands--and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

continue reading

I used to mistake introversion for antisocialness. But it's a completely different thing.

As Dr Nic explained in his lecture yesterday, introverts have a low stimulation threshold. Just a little bit of social contact, and we're operating at our peak.

I like a good conversation. I like doing things with friends. And after it's done, I think:

"I can't wait to get home, and enjoy the socialising I've just done in the privacy of my own home...alone with a cup of tea, some music, and an internet connection. Ah, now that's the good life."

Posted by Mark at 12:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Tags: antisocialness introversion my_personality personality psychology

Last night I went and saw The Glass House being taped live for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It was a last minute thing sprung on me by Elliot. I took it as a post-assignment handing in reward.

It was a fun night. I got a little bit tired of cheering on cue after a while. I alternated between "whoooooo" and "yeah". I need to learn some new forms of exuberance. They taped 2 episodes. The first one aires on wednesday night, I think.

Then on the train home I had the Lord's message shared with me by this guy for 15mins.

Posted by Mark at 07:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Tags: comedy the_glass_house

I'm extremely grateful for good failures. Good failures, to my mind, are the ones that occur when pursuing something that you genuinely care about, but that have a salient lesson. If seen in the right way, these failures can be very motivating. They strengthen you and actually bring you closer to your goals.

Bad failures, make up the other three quadrants of the failure matrix. That is, unimportant mysterious failures, unimportant failures with obvious lessons, and worst of all, the important yet mysterious failure.

This last category is heart breaking.

I remember working on 'The Match Girl' film for 3rd year media, and it was apparent half way to that it was in the third category. I spent all day trying to disect it. It was obvious what was wrong with the film - everything. But it was a mystery where I/we went wrong. There wasn't any obvious root of all our problems.

So I just love a good failure. Well, perhaps I don't love it. But i do appreciate it.

I also love this picture of the sun

Posted by Mark at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Tags: failure match_girl

My theory is that you can tell if you're a perfectionist if someone says to you "gee, you're such a perfectionist", and you think "Oh, if only I was a perfectionist! Then i wouldn't have to settle for all the crap that I seem to settle for. I wish I was a perfectionist." It's an untested theory, but i like it nonetheless, nearly as much as I like the above picture.

Posted by Mark at 06:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: perfectionism

I've been doing my best to implement my Stimulating Breaks policy. Between writing assignments i've been watching the Harvard Positive Psychology lectures that i've mentioned earlier. It may seem strange that i'm taking breaks from doing psychology assignments by watching psychology lectures, and i do feel a tad guilty to be spending time on a unit that i'm not doing at a university that i don't go to. But, nevertheless, it seems to fulfill the 'break' criteria, in that feels like a break. This is probably because, it's voluntarily chosen, and there's no pressure (no exam, no assignments, nothing to live up to)

Anicdotally, the stimulating break seems to be having a recharging effect. I hypothesise that because it gives me something important yet low-stakes to think about that is outside of my uni commitments. I seem to have any time for other projects and hobbies recently. Either i'm a very slower reader and assignment writer, there's a temporal anomoly over our house, or the workload for the units i'm doing is quite a lot.

But back to the Harvard PP lectures. I like them a lot. It's a very interesting area, and one i'd potentially like to get into. I think what I like best about it, is that it deals with some of the most touchy-feely philosophical concepts of all time, but in a rigerously empirical way. So it bridges, academia and pop-psych very nicely.

Posted by Mark at 04:59 PM | Permalink
Tags: mood positive_psychology stimulating_breaks time_management

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Posted by Mark at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: einstein psychology test

I had one of those oh-how-ridiculously-obvious-why-didn't-i-think-of-that-before moments today.

As you know, I have my filemaker todo list system, and my busyness prediction algorithms and all that. It's all very overly structured, but I still make a point of including plenty of breaks and fun and relaxation. It seems like a really good idea, right? Breaks to look forward to and to motivate me, and to clear my head. So every couple of hours I play some Mario Kart or watch some Biggest Loser or catch up on some RSS feeds.

But i'm starting to realize that those distraction breaks are all very well, but they're not rejuvenating or happiness enhancing. Perhaps a good break really should be quite stimulating, even if I am tired from writing assignments and getting 'stuff' done. I've been putting all of my little personal projects on the back burner, so that I can focus on uni stuff...but as much as uni is my main priority at the moment, putting all my eggs in one basket doesn't make for a balanced lifestyle.

So this week, while i've still got 2.5 assignments to go...i'm instituting my new stimulating breaks policy...and i'll see how it goes.

Posted by Mark at 09:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Tags: breaks mood stimulation time_management

At yesterdays personality lecture, Dr K was talking about CBT and the thought counting technique. It reminded me of my old 'thought canceling' thing from last year. Now that I think about it, it is pretty much exactly the same thing.

They were good times. It was amazing how well it worked. But i got so good at it, that i went without clicking for a few weeks and then forgot about it. Maybe I should get back into it. The trouble is with finding a good counter.

A quick google reveals that hand tally counters are sold as laboratory equipment. The trick is finding something small and discrete. It would be a bit disconcerting for people if I start clicking wildly every time they walk into a room.

Posted by Mark at 12:17 PM | Permalink
Tags: cbt dr_k tally_counter thought_canceling uni wishlist

If you're hoping for an interesting link, or a philosophical musing, then i'm sorry. I think its about time I got back to posting unedited ramblings from my day to day life. It's the kind of thing that makes people stop reading blogs. But originally, this blog was just for me to keep records for myself. Remember when I used to schedule out my day and post that here? Recently, i've become way to much of a blogging show pony...i'm sure that the big title headlines have something to do with it. To hell with standards. I intend to keep this blog going for my whole entire life, so it's rediculous to try and keep up any standards that long.

So, it's mid way through week 6, which is pretty much the half way mark of semester 1. By golly gee it's getting busy. I've been over 100% busy for a couple of weeks now.

I'm not wearing my finger string anymore. It fell off one day and I couldn't be bothered putting it back on. However, I have been diligent about refusing extra commitments. I even skipped out on going to my french class this week. My todo list system is holding up reasonably well, and has kept me reasonably stress free. Although there are a couple of things I could improve for next semester. I need to make sure I look at and adjust the todo list every day, not just on may stay home and study days. Also, it was unrealistic to expect that I could do as much distributed revision as last year when I was only do one unit.

Unrelated tangent: Psychologytoday.com have an interesting article about procrastination. They seem to suggest that procrastination predicts all sorts of terrible doom and gloom.

Anywho. So i've got lots of assignments to do, which I would be enjoying more if I had an infinite amount of time to work on them. It doesn't help that I have a tendency to rewrite every sentence numerous times. But I really can't complain, after having had a reasonably boring couple of years previously.

Yesterday, I went into the city for 2 whole hours editing work. It was kind of unexpected. The company that I was editing for last year hired a new guy who does everything that I used to do, and by the sounds of it does it a lot faster. So, in some ways, it reminded me that I kind of miss designing stuff...but I don't miss having to try and meet rediculous deadlines at the drop of a hat.

On the way home i bumped into Sophie from highschool. I keep trying to remember her surname, it's on the tip of my tongue, but i can't retrieve it.

And then today, I had social psych, and then I met Rodney and he gave me the last two eps of Battlestar which I am just loving so much.

Posted by Mark at 08:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Tags: battlestar_galactica productivity rants videography

After approximately 18 years of being a student in some form or other I like to think that i've learned a few things about memorising. I quite enjoy that element of being a student. In VCE, when we did pseudo in class exams/essays, I enjoyed writing them at home over the weekend, and then memorising them before regurgitating them in class. I quite liked memorising scripts back during the good old drama major days too.

I don't seem to have any freakishly amazing memory abilities. But being a somewhat systems oriented person, I quite enjoy coming up with innovative strategies for learning stuff. That's been half the fun of going back to uni to do psych.

Yet it occurred to me today, that after all these years of trying to become a memory ninja, it's not the kind of skill that's going to be ready for much longer. As i've written before, life in 21st century is an open book test. But more importantly, if my goals work out, i'll be doing research oriented things soon, which i'm assuming don't really require a lot of memorisation.

At my french class the other night, it came up that we're at the stage where we can do VCE french if we want. Ell and I were talking about it on the way home. Something the idea tickles my fancy. Language learning is all about being a memory ninja. It'd be an interesting juxtaposition doing VCE french and psych honours at the same time.

But would I have the time? And is there really that much point? Je ne sais pas.

Just thinking out loud.

PS. the idea of memory ninjas is related to a post i read on 43folders.com about email ninjas

PPS. I think this may be one of the nerdiest posts I ever done. Nerdy as opposed to geeky.

Posted by Mark at 06:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (28)
Tags: career french memory ninja

While attending lectures at uni over the past few weeks, i've been taking mental notes about what makes for a good lecture. I thought that it might be a good idea to write these ideas down. If I ever find myself giving lectures (fingers crossed), I may like to look back over these notes.

- When you give people print outs of your power point presentation, everyone knows when the end is coming. On the last page, everyone starts to pack up and get ready to leave. For me, this would be infuriating.

- Power Point presentations are excellent for things that words can't express. Graphs make data easier to understand. Photos make key people feel more real and easier to remember. Demonstrations of optical illusions make for good practical examples of phenomena.

- However, lines and lines of full sentences distract from what you're saying. People can't read and listen at the same time.

- The less that is on each slide, the less that students feel like they need to copy down everything.

- Power Point slides work best when they set the context for what you're talking about. Short topic headings remind everyone what the point at hand is, and focus attention back to what you're saying.

- Don't let people read ahead. Reveal each dot point as you talk about each dot point.

- Use the power point presentation to chunk your information into meaningful sections.

- Sometimes, it's worth enduring long awkward silences while waiting for students to answer questions.

- Tell them what you're gonna tell em....tell em....then tell em what you told them

- Being passionate and a tad theatrical might lead you to be considered a goose, but what is more important? Having your lecture remembered, or being respected?

- There is nothing like a good anecdote

- Feel free to include a sprinkle of the hard advanced topics (it motivates certain types of people)

Now, i hope that none of my lecturers read this blog. I should state for the record, that none of them infringe on all of these guidelines. There are some brilliant presenters among the faculty at uni. And of course, i'm sure it's far harder than it looks

Posted by Mark at 07:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Tags: ideas lectures lecturing power_point presentations uni

My friend Ellen is house sitting a relative's neighbour's house. Yesterday I went to visit and take advantage of the massive widescreen plasma TV. We watched a downloaded copy of The Gilmore Girls on it, and it looked pretty good.

It got me thinking that a massive TV, if done right, could be intergrated unobtrusively into my fantasy house. My house, however, unlike the house Ell is minding, would have fewer doilies. Infact it would be a doily free zone.

My dream house would be the kind of house with a lot of light. Sure, the more windows the less privacy, but my fantasy neighbourhood is the kind of place where people don't mind others seeing them in their pyjamas. That's half the fun.

It will be a very technologized house. But there won't be extension cords all over the place. All the technology would be hidden within the floor, and will appear when needed. The big screen TV will be mounted inside a hole in the wall and, in it's resting state, will be indistinguisable from a window - as it will display a live image from the outdoor camera. All the windows, blinds, heating, Roombas etc, will be controlled by a Linux server, running opensource home automation software. Needless to say, there'll be wifi everywhere.

Surfaces. Lots of clean surfaces. Books will be digitised, mementos will be photographed, and the surfaces will remain completely bare. Mugs of coffee must never be put down, even with a coaster, i don't care - no mugs.

For that human touch, every room will have a single Sentiment Screen (TM) - a display that cycles through family photos and other assorted nostalgia.

The garden...will be holographic.

Posted by Mark at 09:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: big_tvs doilies houses ideas

Not that I have dinner parties, but I feel like studying psychology has impaired my ability to have an opinion.

Everyone is interested in psychology. Everyone is a human and/or spends a lot of time around them. We all carry with us our own little theories of what make people tick. Interest in people has survival value. So I would argue, that it's probably the most talked about scientist. Certainly, people gossip far less about particle physics or oceanography.

Sometimes I get carried away. This past year i've quite taken a liking to empiricism. All of this reading about research methodology and the scientific method is sinking in. The science geek in me has awakened. I like to be accurate. But as a student at the bottom of the academic mountain, there's a strong feeling that what I don't know yet stretches out to infinity. And whenever a issue of human behaviour comes up casually in conversation, I feel like I need to call time-out, consult a few journal articles, and then come back in a week with my opinion. "Meet me in the library in an hour, and we'll finish our conversation there".

It's getting kind of ridiculous. And after all, untested personal theories are a natural part of life. It's half the fun. There's always that terrible safe position of "it's a complex interaction of many factors, and depends on the circumstances", but I don't want to say that. So my new weeks resolution, is to adopt random philosophies in all my conversations and see what happens.

Confucius says: "Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, see to the (be?) worthy of being known."

Posted by Mark at 10:08 AM | Permalink
Tags: empiricism opinions psychology resolutions

So my rss reader notified me that Ren had posted some news on her blog.

Ren's Journal: Bakery... Yep

Congrats Ren!

Posted by Mark at 11:53 AM | Permalink
Tags: ren

Out of the blue, Simon popped in just now. He dropped off a book i lent him ('Emergence), and lent me some Scientific American Mind magazines. It was great to see him.

And he's started relearning Swahili, and in just four days, it's all coming back to him from his childhood in Kenya. I think that is very cool, and goes to show how much of an impact language has on your mind.

He also filled me in on a theatre piece he is directing at the moment, and I might be helping him out with some graphics.

Posted by Mark at 03:06 PM | Permalink
Tags: emergence language scientific_american simon swahili

I just got back from seeing Brokeback Mountain. Just as everyone had been telling me, it's quite an amazing film. Very.....touching.

It's funny how it brings to my attention that i'm very male when it comes to films, in that, as much as I enjoyed the film, i only have a small tolerance for feeling sad unneccessarily. Is that a stupid thing to say? I'm not exactly what sure what I mean by that. It's just that Brokeback gets kind of tragic at the end, and I its a whole half an hour that I have to spend dwelling on that now before the Simpsons starts at 6.00.

I do encourage everyone to see it.

Posted by Mark at 05:14 PM | Permalink
Tags: brokeback_mountain chick_flicks movies

What a legend! Ren took me up on my Big 5 Personality Traits Challenge and did the test based on her knowledge of me.

Here are the scores side by side:

(just to make it clear, both columns are an evaluation of me. One from my own perspective; one from Ren's)

SELF | REN

o - 80 | 80
c - 89 | 94
e - 31 | 83
a - 83 | 94
n - 18 | 55

It's amazing how close the scores are on most of the personality traits. 'N' stands for neuroticism (aka anxiety or nervousness or cautiousness); i was quite surprised at how low I scored myself. Ren's evaluation of my neuroticism seems to be more like me. (by the way, neuroticism sounds really bad, but it's not really. Nothing wrong with being cautious.)

What i find REALLY interesting is the discrepency on 'E' - Extraversion. I'll have to give that a lot of consideration; i've always considered myself to be quite introverted, and to think that might not be readily apparent.

Thanks heaps for doing that for me, Ren.

Of course, this is just one piece of data. I should get more people to take the test on my behalf. It might also be useful to redo the test on different days to test for 'test-retest reliability' (I learn't that from psych)

For those who are interested, these big five personality traits (openess to experience, concientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism) are considered to be the five basic building blocks of personality. They represent the most popular and dominant model for studying personality differences in contemporary psychology . While there are many different ways in which we describe the personalities of people we know, it is thought that all of these characteristics are derived from different mixes of the big 5 traits. For example, shyness could be a combination of low extraversion and high neuroticism. These Big 5 traits were discovered via various statistical procedures that smart psychology professor types can do.

That said, i'm not too sure about the validity of this particular big 5 test, although i did find it via the UCLA Berkley Psychology Faculty website.

Take the test yourself at outofservice.com/bigfive

Posted by Mark at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: big_5 extraversion my_personality neuroticism personality psychology psychometrics ren

I saw The Producers today (the film version). I saw it with Ellen. It didn't stand up very well at all. It's a complete copy of the stage version - word for word, gesture for gesture. Even the sets are identical. Ell absolutely hated it with a passion.

The worst thing about it is the BIG musical acting. Stage acting and film cameras don't mix.

I saw the stage version with Amanda and Elliot a while ago, which was actually quite entertaining. It probably helps to be with a large audience.

Nevertheless, we finished the day with another episode of Gilly Girls. So all is well.

In other news, there are some strange things going on with the monkey theatre group i'm involved in. I think i'm in the middle of it. I'm not sure.

At highschool, they had a peer mediation program. When there was conflict among students, they were going to get students to run a medition session. I signed up, and they got in these councilors to teach us mediation skills. You had to have two people mediating, and you had to call yourself M1 and M2. You had to listen to each persons side of the argument and say "So, what I hear you saying is...", and reframe their statement in neutral, touchy/feely terms.

Only one session was ever held before the program was cancelled, and I never got to do any real mediation. I'd forgot about it till now. But it makes me remember that I was kind of interested in psychology back then, to some degree.

In year 10, I was also a peer support leader. I made new year 7s feel special...

Posted by Mark at 09:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Tags: ellen movies peer_mediation the_producers

This big 5 personality trait test is a pretty good one. I think the results seem a lot like me. As opposed to that other one i did a few months ago that said I had syphilis.

I'm a O80-C89-E31-A83-N18 Big Five!!

One thing I would be very interested to see, is what scores i'd get if someone else filled on the test on my behalf. To see if my self-perception is similar to the image i project.

If you know me, click here and do the test for me, based on what you know about me.

Then send me the results. I won't know specificaly what you put down, so it wont be awkward.

Then i'll do you, if you like.

Posted by Mark at 01:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: big_5 personality_tests

I went and had a spirometry test today, and i'm up 200mls on two years ago, which could just be day to day variability, but still cool.

Posted by Mark at 02:39 PM | Permalink
Tags: health lungs spirometry

About me

Je m'appelle Mark...

I'm a psychology student at Deakin University in Melbourne, Australia, and I will be for the next few years. A couple of years ago, I completed a Bachelor of Contemporary Arts majoring in Drama and Media (also at Deakin). I occasionally do some freelance videography, multimedia, and web design, although as of mid 2005 my priorities have turned sharply to my psych career.

From time to time I have the privilege of doing theatre related things with various people (you know who you are). Performance is great. I've liked acting ever since high school drama.

What else?

I use a Mac. I'm a trekie. I don't have a star sign.

Why do I blog?

In the mid to late 80s toy companies marketed pink plastic electronic dairies to pre-pubescent girls. These devices had names like 'My First Secret Diary', 'My Secret Diary', or 'Secret Diary, it's mine ,damnit!'. They were padlocked, or password protected, or both.

Male humans don't have inner thoughts, so there was never any need for non-pink alternative. Nevertheless, from an early age, I liked the idea of record keeping, electronics, and password protection. Some people are just born geeky.

From time to time I'd start up a diary, kept in plain text documents on my hard drive, and hidden through obscure naming conventions. They never lasted more than a week. I didn't have the discipline or the frontal lobes to keep it up. Furthermore, everything get's boring when I don't write for an audience; my dairies quickly become one sentence references to the days trivia.

Then, in late 2002, I ran into blogging. I started a blog on livejournal.com. I figured it might be quite good for my mental health to write things down, and blogging was geeky enough to motivate me to do it.

In early 2003, I moved my blog to its own server and started using Movable Type.

These days, I blog because:

- it's easier than remembering

- it will be something to look back on when i'm old

- it's cathartic

- it gives me a sense of identity

- i want to show things to my blog reading friends

- and there's always the chance of meeting some interesting people who've stumbled onto my blog from a misspelt google search

Posted by Mark at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Tags: blogging me

Last night I went out to the Malthouse with the monkeys. We saw Eddy Perfect, a comedy/music act. He does anti-capatalist anti-consumerism lefty stuff, and it was really good. I enjoyed his performance a hell of a lot. It was a very good recommendation on behalf of the monkeys.

However, I had a bit of an awkard incident. I did it to myself, stupid me.

It was elliot's birthday that day, and mine the day after (ie today). Kara gave me the ticket as a birthday gift, Amanda gave me some cool toys, and Elliot, bless him, gave me THX 1138 (you know, the movie. It's really cool).

But i hadn't got him anything...and it was his birthday that day...and as he handed me my gift, my stomach filled up with rocky guilt and embed itself there.

I couldn't believe how bad I felt. I didn't even have any good excuse. I knew it was his birthday in advanced because i'd discovered that the year before. I knew that the monkeys are the gift giving types. I just didn't think about it. I'm either a bad person, or have bad social skills, or both.

One theory in human evolution is that trading was responsible for the massive increase in the size of the human brain. If humans were going to start collaborating and trading brains that could tell when they were getting the short end of the stick and motivations to fix it. Infact, studies have shown that people do much better at certain tests of logic when the test is phrased in terms of a 'cheating' scenario.

People have a deeply embeded sense of receprocity. And it works both ways - for the cheated, and the cheater. It's as human as sleep, sex, and noun-phrases.

Today I bought elliot a retrospective gift - a domain name. I sent it to him about ten minutes ago. It can't undo that awkward moment, but it's better late than never.

I'm fine about it today. I'm proud of myself for not ruminating.

Posted by Mark at 09:20 PM | Permalink
Tags: birthdays comedy gift_giving guilt receprocity stuffups theatre

This morning I started looking at psychology career stuff again. I think that i've let the academic side of things, which i'm very comfortable with, lull me into a false sense of security. Infact, now that I think about, the reason I went back to uni was probably just so that I could go back to doing something that i'm good at, and avoid having to write resumés and go to job interviews.

So silly me starts to browse around the Australian Psychological Society website, then some other career websites, knowing full well, that slick graphic design and pastel tones make me nervous.

In light of this, some resolutions:

1) no more looking at slick graphic design and pastel tones

2) get career advice from real people...none of this generic crap

3) define clearly what i'm going to and not going to do re: career planning, so I can stop feeling like I should be chasing up every avenue.

Posted by Mark at 11:59 AM | Permalink
Tags: aps career deakin psychology resolutions uni

I've been without my todo list for a week and a bit now, and i'm really feeling lost. I'd just developed my beautiful new todo list system in FileMaker Pro 8, but then my 30 day trial expired.

Now I don't know what to do with myself. I could start using www.voo2do.com, however, I think in the long term it would be better to get a full version of FileMaker.

Voo2do does look pretty damn good though. It's free. Check it out.

Posted by Mark at 07:42 PM | Permalink
Tags: filemaker list todo voo2do

I quite like this lifehack for motivating yourself:

The Occupational Adventure (sm): 50 strategies for making yourself work

Pay yourself an hourly wage for time worked, and don't allow yourself leisure activities (movies, dinner out, etc.) unless you can pay for it with this writing money.

It's a similar idea to what I do at the moment with my finances. I create a virtual income for myself, related to, but less than my real income. For example, my pention gets divded up - some into virtual income, the rest becomes savings. My work income gets divded half and half between virtual and non virtual. And gifted income or money off the back of a truck goes completely into virtual income. Most of my day to day spending comes out of this virtual income, which keeps my spending in check.

For me, this works a lot better than a budget. With a budget, you're aware that it is a goal. However, with a virtual income, it becomes my only measure against which to asses my finances; my real income and bank balance are forgotten untill i look them up every couple of months.

The idea of paying yourself a virtual hourly wage, particularly if you work for yourself or you are a student etc, uses this same principal of a personal economy. Even though, in the back of your mind you know that it's just made up, it becomes real if its the only statistic you look at...particularly if you're the sort of person who likes lifehacks.

Posted by Mark at 06:51 PM | Permalink
Tags: finance income lifehack money procrastination productivity work

Does anyone out there have any experience with the Nintendo DS? I've woken up this morning with the urge to get one. I heard about this new surgery game for the DS, Trauma Center: Under the Knife. Download the trailer. It looks like so much fun. I've developed a taste for unrealistic medical drama recently.

How much to Nintendo DSs cost? Are they any good?

Posted by Mark at 07:07 AM | Permalink
Tags: nintendo nintendo_ds trauma_center

Ok, I know that this is a really terrible photo, but all the other ones were blurey. So, my appologies...more to myself than anything.

I went wheelchair shopping yesterday. We went to a place that I had been told was the Toys R Us of wheelchairs...alas, this chair was practically the only power chair they had. I think it was called a 'Pride' or a 'Jazzy', i'm not sure which....terible names in any case.

It had really only one nice feature - mid wheel drive. With the two drive wheels in the center, and four smaller casters on the ends, one can go up and down small steps. Theoretically it also adds stability.

However, the chair was incredibly bumpy, and looked like shit. The salesman told me that it could have an elevating facility, which would have been very impressive. That turned out to be incorrect.

So I think i'll hold out for a couple more years, and wait for anti-gravity. I like my chair, it's small and pretty.

Posted by Mark at 06:01 PM | Permalink
Tags:

Michelle put me onto this, and I just entered myself.

Hi Wheels,

I saw this on the Age website and thought of chunkyboat:

Tuesday, November 8, 2005
$10,000 for our best blogger

Looks like blogging in Australia is suddenly going to become lucrative. At least it will be for the winner of a nationwide competition to find Australia's best blogger, organised by Melbourne-based blog [and other] hosting company, SmartyHost. He or she will pick up a cash prize of $10,000.

The competition will run from today until November 28, with the winner to be announced on December 2. The competition is open to any Australian blogger. The registration page isn't up yet is here.

Razor's a member of the judging panel [so we're not going to be $10,000 richer!] and it's going to be an interesting experience. Who do you think we should be voting for?

Posted by Mark at 03:15 PM | Permalink
Tags:

Wellity wellity. The revenge of the sith is out on DVD...and apart from that, not alot has happend.

I did however, have my psych exam. It went pretty down. I do have a feeling that my mark will be a bit down on last semester...maybe that's because i wasn't as obsessive about it this semester, or perhaps it's 'regression towards the mean'.....how nerdy of me.

I'm feeling good about psych. Although, I wonder if i'm going into for the right reasons. Part of my motivation is the nice idea of having letters after my name....the other is my fantasy that the ladies like a bit of psychology after supper, if you know what i mean.

But i do like it. I do. Really. Especially when i'm in a good mood.

I've not been into the city to do editing for a bit. I've goto ring up my boss/client tomorrow to see what is up.

Anyway, now that i'm off uni till febuary, here's my todo list:

- Ring adam
- read "The world is flat"
- re-learn french
- look into getting that booklet from the APS
- re design my blog
- do some cool kind of photoshop art
- have lunch with Simon or something
- teach myself to program
- install movable type on the junkyard monkeys website
- scan in all my textbooks for next year
- try and earn some money
- work on having more masculine facial expressions

Posted by Mark at 07:29 PM | Permalink
Tags:

Hey Hey Hey. Lots has happend.

So I was really depressed a couple of weeks ago....well a little depressed with a few table spoons of anxiety. I couldn't stop thinking about applying for psych (to apply or not to apply) and what to do with my life. But then I remembered something I read (I think it was from a book called The New Mood Therapy). So I started trying out this technique and gave it my own nerdy spin.

I call it Thought Canceling, although i'm sure others call it something else. It works like this. Everytime I catch myself thinking a negative/fearful/anxious thought about my future I press a button on my PDA that activates a counter. So i keep track all day of how many of these thoughts i've had. However, the act of pressing the button ends up diverting my attention and it seems to work like a cancel button.

At first it would take me a while to catch the thought. I'd start thinking "Oh my god, what if I get a year into this course and then realise I hate it, I will have wasted so much of my PELS limit - oh fuck, i'm thinking about it again - CANCEL"

But now, I catch it before I've even thought about it. "I'll never - CANCEL".

So that's worked wonders. I've also been very busy. I've been doing editing at Medialink almost every day this week. I got pretty wet today though.

Oh, and I got an HD for my psych essay. I saw Simon too. Good bloke good bloke.

Posted by Mark at 07:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags:

The Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire trailer looks great. I can't wait.

Apple - Trailers - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - HD

Anyway, i haven't blogged in ages. I had a few days when I was really busy, then I got sick, then I was a tad depressed for a few days, and then I was busy again. So that's my excuse.

So last you heard, we were moving out of our house for a week while the floor boards were being re polished. The apartment we rented in Docklands was really nice, as Adam and Gareth will attest. Those two came over to use Soundtrack Pro to make a soundtrack for their fringe show.

Meanwhile, I was invited to check out the new edit suite at Medialink. Ages ago I sent them a showreel and they said that they might need an editor when they get their own Final Cut suite. So I went over Monday and the guy said he had a project for me. So i've been going into Collins street a few days per week and getting paid by the hour as a sub contractor.

I find this development in my 'career' very strange. In many ways, the showreel has paid off, only a year after I gave up on working in the video/tv area. It's really good to be working on proper corporate videos, in a proper suite, not from home, and getting paid properly, but as per usual i never really feel good about anything. I've mixed feelings about it, because in my head I was over doing editing. Plus my skills are pretty rusty. Medialink is fantastic to work for though...my 'boss' is a good bloke.

Anyway, so the week moved on. I saw The Tempest one night, and another night I went with Adam to see Ren's show at the North Melbourne Town Hall (which I absolutely loved by the way, i thought they did mixing video and dance really well). Then the day after that I got really sick. Some kind of bacterial infection took my voice away and filled my lungs with phlegm which then turned into a chest infection.

So that wiped out the next week and a bit. I couldn't see Adam's show, Cunversations, or do the video for the Tempest. Being sick for a week gave me a lot of time to ruminate, which I didn't like. I kept thinking about my future plans and how I can't commit to any particular direction, my crappy social life, global warming, and that had me down for a bit.

The nice thing about my reasonably normal head is that after a couple of days it runs out of bad mood and I get a good mood rebound. It's not an estatic mood, but i'm feeling a lot better. Small things now amuse again.

For example, I was excited to watch the video of the launch of the new iPod video from Apple this morning. It's slightly cool, however, the iTunes store is only selling Lost, Desperate Housewives, and a couple of other TV shows for the new iPod (and only in the US). While ripping a DVD onto your iPod is technically possible if you have the right pirate software, it's too fiddly to be of any practical use. So the video feature is really a useless bonus. The large screen and thin form factor is quite nice. But I'll be sticking with my nano for a while yet.

I should also mention that there is yet another rumour that an Australian iTunes store will launch this Sunday (but how many times have we heard that?)

Posted by Mark at 08:55 PM | Permalink
Tags:

There's been speculation on Muggle Cast that the final Harry Potter book will be released July 7th, 2007. The reasoning is that it would be 07/07/07 and seven is the most significant magical number as we all well know.

Posted by Mark at 11:45 AM | Permalink
Tags:

My problem isn't sticking to things. I can follow through on a plan. My problem is beliving in what i'm sticking to.

I make a plan. I get excited. I start the plan. I lose faith in the plan. But i continue to execute the plan, and then I finish the plan. Repeat.

This causes me to wonder. If i have this habit of getting bored and disenchanted with everything, its probably more to do with me than that which i'm bored with. If that's true, then there's a good chance I gave up on Media and Drama for the wrong reasons. This could also be true of the couple of months in 2004 when i was considering doing a DipEd, or the 30min flirt with an IT degree a couple of weeks ago.

In any case, I soldier on.

In lighter and more immediate dillemas, i'm having a lot of trouble with my video software. In fact i'm increasingly aware of the age of my whole setup, having lost that big client (it seems) due to my bad quality gear.

So i'm not sure whether to fork out $1000 for the latest Final Cut Studio. It would eat into my hard saved savings, and might not be of much value considering how little work I get. On the other hand, I really need to have my eggs in a lot of baskets if i'm to kill time for the rest of this year.

I think I will. I might as well.

Posted by Mark at 03:32 PM | Permalink
Tags: career introspection videography

Yesterday, before the mars bars, I was doing Jenko some new headshots. I wasn't really concentrating and Jenkins was being somewhat silly, so there were a hell of a lot of strange facial expressions. This image being one of them. But that's ok; i'm quite a fan of strange headshots. So I think i'll post a series of them here over the next few days.

But what I'd really like to post about is Podcasts.

I started listening to podcasts around about the same time as I got my iPod Shuffle. I'm not sure where I heard about it first, it may have been when Radio National started mentioning that they would podcast in the future. In any case, now i'm hooked. As a bit of an insomniac I now listen to a few hours worth of podcasts each night, lying in bed, al cosy and warm.

Everyone should try it out and see if there isn't at least one show that tickles their fancy. It's free so there is no obstacle, although if you don't have a portable mp3 player it can be a bit annoying; who likes listening to things at the computer?

First, download the new iTunes 4.9. Sure there is other software, but iTunes is free and easy. Then either use the iTunes podcast directory to find some interesting feeds, or you could add some of my recommended podcasts.

These are some of my personal favourites:

All In The Mind from National Radio

I've been listening to this program for ages, untill recently on the radio. Infact, I think it's part of the reason that I decided to do Psych. I was listening to it one implusive day and whaam, what do you know.

It's a 30min psychology/philosophy/neurology program filled with intelligent ABC goodness. You know the kind. The host, Natasha Mitchell, has this sexy futuristic-computer-voice type voice and makes everything sound really intelligent.

podcast url: http://www.abc.net.au/rn/podcast/feeds/mind.xml

Sunday Night Safran: religion, politics and hoochies

I've started listening to this one recently. John Safran from 'John Safran vs God' among other things just craps on and interviews various people and makes fun of religion. And he has a co-host, Father Bob McGuire.

podcast url: http://triplej.net.au/safran/podcast/safran.xml

MacCast
This one is very geeky. It's news and tips about all Apple computers related things. Perhaps not that interesting for any of my 5 readers

podcast url: http://feeds.feedburner.com/maccast

I was going to tell you about all the other ones that I listen to, but Dr Who is about to start, so i'll cut it short.

But before I go i did what to write down an idea before I forget. Adam, Jenkins, and I were talking about doing our own podcast - i should get a new mic. But I also just had an idea of doing my own psychology podcast one day when I get a few more units under my belt. I could get people to email me questions, or leave audio comments on a skype number, and then give out advice. And I could be really abrupt with people, giving them just the cold hard facts.

Posted by Mark at 07:24 PM | Permalink
Tags: headshots itunes jenko photos podcasts radio_national

On saturday I dragged Ellen to the National Careers Expo at the Melbourne Exhibition centre. I saw Toady from Neighbours doing an add for it, and something made me want to go. I thought it would be good to go to career type things; I thought that it might be a mature thing to do.

Anyway, it was a pretty crap expo. The army, lots of IT companies, and some dancers left over from sexpo were there giving out brochures. I didn't end up looking at anything really. However, I did go to the Careers Councilers Association and get a free 10min consultation. The guy was nice, and reeled off a whole lot of how to work from home suggestions. I nodded and smiled.

The problem with careers councilers, from my two encounters with them, is that they assume you're thinking logically. My problem isn't a lack of information about how different careers work, it's being fucked in the head. My problem is more to do with my motivation and confidence and personality and stuff.

So i'll just stick to the default plan.

But I felt bad for dragging Ellen along. I thought since she had expressed some interest in career change she might get something out of it, but it was just sooooo crap. At least we had Nando's.

Then, yesterday. Again with Ell, I saw Decoupage Skin finally. La Mama is a nice space with an open fire.

Today, I study.

Posted by Mark at 10:17 AM | Permalink
Tags: career ellen national_careers_expo